Listen, your friends are thrilled -- thrilled! -- you're finally getting hitched. Seriously, after 30 viewings of He's Just Not That Into You, sending Waiting to Exhale Gifs and crying about the fear of being alone forever your friends really could not be happier that you're now someone else's problem from here to eternity. But, excited enough to pay for a trip to Bora Bora or whatever? Let's think this through. 

Particularly if your friend group is in the late-20s to mid-30s range, everybody in your squad -- unless you're all hedge fund managers or Silicon Valley freaks of monetary nature -- is just getting by financially. That's doubly true if y'all live in a Top Ten market, where rent, Uber rides, food, trendy clothes and the going-out that's pretty much required of your careers. Just making ends meet on a middle-class salary is tough these days; adjusted for inflation and what not, most young people are accruing less wealth than their parents, people they have to hit up for money to come home on the holidays. 

That's why having your wedding in Jamaica, the Bahamas or some hard-to-pronounce place you've chosen because the Instagram pics are going to be fire can send your peeps into a spiral of anxiety. Nobody wants to flat-out say, 'Nope, can't make it' after getting an invitation to your special day; nobody wants to get evicted because they had to drop three grand on a flight, accommodations and your gift either. It's perfectly cool to have a fantasy wedding, but just make sure you're aware of the reality other people are living in too. Planning a wedding is stressful enough without having to shoulder disappointment, frustration and anger because your closest pals can't make it or worse -- have to back out at the last minute because they realize at the last minute that no, they can't make your wedding without taking out a small loan. 

Life, Culturemalcolm venable